Tuesday, October 27, 2009

And so it begins...

It all started last May for me, this journey of running.  I suppose it actually started a bit earlier with my ManHo. (he's my husband of 18 years, he's not really a 'ho but yes I do call him that to his face)  He entered a local 5K.  He became addicted.  That was all fine and good you see because as a properly raised southern girl I have my priorities in order and well those don't include anything that involves sweat.  As long as he left me out of it then I was all "Run Forrest, Run!"  I could return to my favorite hobby of libations and lollin'.

He decided that he wanted to enter a race called the Muddy Buddy in Orlando.  This is a team event that requires each member to bike and run a 10K course.  There are obstacles along the course, including a large mud pit at the end.  He was convinced that Heathen #2 (our 16 year old son) would do this with him.  MMM WRONG.  Heathen #2 not so gently explained to his Dad that he is not into sports, he is a gamer.  If it involved a joystick or controller, he's the man.  Sweating, not so much.  He made me proud.  Alas this opened the door for ManHo to focus on other members of the family.  Primarily, me.

In addition to my aversion to sweat and exertion I have cancer.  Cervical and CLL; most of the time this is not an issue and is under control but it does require medication and causes my immune system to be wonky.  I hate to admit it but I use my illness to my advantage in getting out of physical activity whenever possible.  I mean it just makes sense, work with what ya got baby.

I was suckered in, he convinced me that I could do this.  I mean it's only six miles or so and I could have the easy part of doing three bike legs and just 2 running.  I couldn't even recall if I owned sneakers...this was not a good sign.  One of the other key things was that we had to share a bike.  He's 5'11",  I'm 4'11".  We finally decided on a 24 inch boy's mountain bike with an adjustable seat.  On the lowest setting I could almost reach the ground and on the highest setting he didn't quite knock himself out when peddling.  We were now cooking with grease people.

We convinced another couple to do this with us and they drove down from NC.  I call them my Wack~a~loons.  They rock.

The weekend arrives and I have actually attempted to bike and run maybe 4 miles total in the past month.  In addition to my lack of preparation I wasn't feeling so good.  I did look spectacular though.  Y'all, I made us the most precious lime green t-shirts with pink for me and white for him letters that proudly stated:  Team Substantialiscious Freakin' adorable.  Did I mention I wasn't feeling good.

Another thing about these races is that you have to get up early.  Like O dark thirty early.  I did all this because well, I love ManHo and this made him so very happy.  We check in, I'm excited, I look cute, I'm on the bike and it's GO time!  I'm doing well, peddling along.  ManHo is running the first leg.  The idea is that the biker will get to the first obstacle drop the bike, complete the obstacle and start running.  The runner will then get there, perform the obstacle and take off on the bike, passing the runner.  You repeat this 4 more times.  I'm still doing well.  Complete the bike leg, climb up an inflatable thing and slide down.  Well Ms. I don't know when to stop eating bacon climbed up behind me and slid down before I had cleared the obstacle.  I was not Fat Girl Running, I was Fat Girl Down.  I recovered with my normal calm, I was raised right ya know, by muttering something about her parentage under my breath.

Let's just say that the my lack of preparation was kicking in at this point.  The adrenalin was gone and I also started muttering quite a bit about the ManHo.  I trudged on and completed all the legs.  The last leg was horrible, off road, May in Florida, I think I was passed by someone with an oxygen tank.  I jest but it was difficult.  I came to the final 1/2 mile at Disney's Wide World of Sports.  Lots of people cheering and ManHo yelling in his best Waterboy voice "you can do it!"  I was almost there.  Then I recalled the mud pit.  You have to finish with your partner.  Race rangers yelling "on your belly", "under the flags".  I no longer looked quite so adorable and had serious doubts that Ms doesn't know when to stop eating bacon would even make it out of this pit based on the trouble that I was having.  It actually felt quite good, all nice and cool and I began to understand a pig's view of the world.  Partners in Grime.

We trudge out of the pit, grasp hands and run across the finish line.  We did it!  My temp was 104.3.  I was diagnosed the following Monday with influenza.  I told you I was sick!

Here's the kicker folks:  they have beer at the finish line and medals.  Yes medals.  I am a sucker for some bling.

and the bling y'all is how it all began...

for info on your own Muddy Buddy experience check out:http://www.muddybuddy.com/


  1. Love it!!!! Great story. Keep on writing!


  2. Woohooo you make me tired just thinking about running. Honey the only reason I'm running is if someone is chasing me and then I'd have to think about it. Besides it's too hard to run with a margarita in your hand

  3. Oh, Hooray! You got it up and it's fabulous!!! I love it. Denise, you are so damn clever and creative. I am just so honored and blessed to know you and you amaze me with your "runnin' and bikin' ... I have to agree with Gladys, lol. Good one girl! ;)

  4. Awesome!! Keep on keepin' on, girlfriend! Sending you BIG LOVE!~aj

  5. Found you on SITS. Wow. You rock.
    I hope you kick cancer's ass.